Pretty Colors

I know, I know, I’ve failed in the “semi-regularly” department, and haven’t posted for several days, but I have been writing in the meanwhile, just not here. Doesn’t absence make the heart grow fonder? It’s all a ruse to build up suspense. And any other passingly adequate excuses you might think of…

But here’s what’s really on my mind right now. Someone tried to rip me off. For a kind of a lot of money. Really not cool.

Earlier today, my roomie managed to drag me out of my cave of wonderment (ie my warm bed) and forced me to accompany her on a trip to the fashion district to find some fabric. I have no aspirations to become a seamstress, tailoress, dressmaker, clothier, or any other type of needle-wielding artisan, but I truly love fabric, and I especially love it when there’s hundreds of different bolts and swaths draped everywhere.

how i feel in fabric stores

It probably has something to do with my magpie-like love for all things pretty, and especially all things shiny. Fabric stores are veritable cornucopias for colors, sparkles, shines, and flashes, not to mention textures aplenty. Also I think I’m inspired by the blanket fort potential of fabric stores. At any rate, I enjoy fabric stores, and I enjoy fabric stores in the fashion district because outside them, there are often hot dog stands just waiting for me to indulge. Last time I ate from a hot dog stand, it was Halloween, in WeHo, and I was vomiting all the next day, thanks to some lovely food poisoning. I still have absolutely no compunction about buying hot dogs from stands, and in fact, am eager to do so. We went to Pinks instead, which was delicious, though this whole hot dog tangent is really a bit irrelevant to the story and only a product of my true and deep love for hot dogs bought from stands. Suffice it to say, I had a very satisfying day.

I did however, spend a pretty penny in the fashion district. So later, after I had returned to my cave of wonderment, and was taking a nice nap, I got a call from Bank of America and was unsurprised to find out that they had flagged my account on suspicion of fraudulent charges. This actually happens surprisingly often, I suppose I often make strange and questionable purchases (?) and BofA likes to call me on it. But when they called, I was taking a nap, and the holy sleep comes before all else, so I ignored the call. Finally, around 1AM, I decided I should probably deal with it, just have to navigate and irritatingly well-enunciated touchtone menu. After such a relaxing day, I could deal with a minor nuisance – until I realized that the attempt to withdraw $500.00 in cash from an ATM was not actually something I had tried to do. Cue panic.

how i feel now.... stupid rainbows

Apparently, somehow, someone had gotten a hold of my debit card number and created a counterfeit card which they then tried to use at an ATM. Luckily they failed and BofA caught the transaction, so I’m all good, except I now am terrified someone is going to steal my identity. I talked to two different fraud analysts and forced them to reassure me that I hadn’t anything to worry about, that only my card was being accessed. I’m still not reassured.

So I’m now scared of identity theft. [The demon cat strikes again!] I mean I’m concerned about the practical things – my funds, my credit score, etc. But since I’m the type of person who walks into a fabric stores and sees rainbows asking to be danced in and potential blanket forts, I also am concerned about literal identity theft, as in someone trying to become me. And let’s be honest, maybe not so irrational, because I’m awesome. Everyone likes the thought of being able to step into another life, become someone else, just for a little while. It’s why we love superheroes and their alter egos, and why Hollywood refuses to stop making switching-bodies flicks.

Honestly, I don’t know that someone would actually enjoy taking over my life. Don’t get me wrong, I love it, and am perfectly confident in my own awesomeness, but objectively, I’m poor and unemployed. I’m generally a happy person because of an inexplicable optimism and infantile delight in the simplest of things – blanket forts, hot dog stands, taco trucks, the newest Thor video, my Ninja Turtle hat, Doctor Who’s new season, Cadbury Creme eggs, saltwater taffy or just a variety of pretty colors and interesting textiles. I might get distracted from the practical fairly easily, but at least my bank has got my back. I’ve absolutely no idea how this identity-stealing troll got my card number, and I’m still alarmed by the possibility that my information may be at risk. But I don’t think there’s really much I can do at the moment, and I’d rather be thinking about my whimsies. My lack of practicality might bite me in the ass from time to time, and occasionally be slightly bafflingly alarming, but if it’s between the fetal position and rainbows, I’m definitely taking the rainbows.

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  1. Donald

     /  April 23, 2011

    You have a Ninja Turtle hat?! I am jealous.

  2. Are you sure that was a hot dog?


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